The Progressive Puppy

Pastor Steve Munsey's 'Lucky Dates,' TBN's Jan Crouch Gets Moist

ProPup's Sunday Prayer Service

1. Charismatic preacher Steve Munsey assigns "lucky dates" to worshippers. And he's NOT a false prophet, goddammit!
2. God is happy when you give Steve Munsey cash from your income tax returns, according to Steve Munsey.

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(Hat Tip: Christian Nightmares and philazzurri.)

Bonus Video: RodSerlingsGhost cleverly re-edits a clip of anti-gay televangelist Benny Hinn successfully seducing Trinity Broadcasting co-founder Jan Crouch.  (Crouch's hair is so feathered one expects it to leap from her scalp and fly away home - and you could set a tray of hors d'oeuvres on those eyelashes.  Of course this is all for the glory of God.)

“Live among wolves and you will learn to howl.” - Spanish proverb  (We live in the Texas Bible Belt.)

Trinity Christian Broadcasters Scrutinized For Unlawful Acts

What day is this? 

It's a sad state of affairs when we're no longer surprised by the hypocritical shenanigans of the Religious Right.  Teri Sforza reports for the Orange County Register: 

The granddaughter of Trinity Broadcasting Network's Paul and Jan Crouch has accused the world's largest Christian broadcaster of unlawfully distributing charitable assets worth more than $50 million to the company's directors.  The charges are leveled in a federal lawsuit filed by Crouch granddaughter Brittany Koper last week against her former lawyers, who also do legal work for TBN.  “Observers have often wondered how the Crouches can afford multiple mansions on both coasts, a $50 million jet and chauffeurs,” said Tymothy MacLeod, Koper's attorney. “And finally, with the CFO coming forward, we have answers to those questions.”  Koper had served as chief financial officer, director of finance, corporate treasurer and director of human resources for Trinity Christian Center of Santa Ana, which does business as Trinity Broadcasting Network, according to the suit.

Praise the Lord and pass the shears.

Michele Bachmann Despises Howard Stern for Defending Ellen

Failed GOP presidential nominee Michele Bachmann is enraged that radio personality Howard Stern came to the defense of Ellen DeGeneres when the hate group One Million Moms demanded JC Penney fire the TV host from her gig as the retailer's spokesperson.  (As an out lesbian, Ellen's mere presence on television is an affront to OMM's "Christian values."  Bachmann apparently shares their disgust for the chipper entertainer.)  Stern, not known for subtlety, defended Ellen and then snarkily referred to the homophobic harridan as one of the "worst two people on the planet."  According to Mr. Stern, Bachmann shares that designation with Republican presidential candidate Rick I-Am-The-Blessed-Redeemer Santorum, another pious piehole coveting Obama's job.  Upon learning of Stern's comments, The Maniacal Michele dashed off emails to her current supporters - all seven of them - in which she whined ...

Earlier this week, shock jock Howard Stern called me "the worst person in the world" during his daily radio show.  To conservatives, this message from Howard Stern, a man whose only contribution to our culture was years of corrupting America's youth on public airwaves, was clear: "either abandon your beliefs and agree with me, or be dragged through the mud and demonized on national radio." I don't accept this false choice, and I know you don't either.  While Stern can say anything he wants on satellite radio, his words have an impact on his millions of listeners as well as the people his listeners talk to, which is why I need your help to counteract with our positive message.

Our positive message?  If this loony lady and her anti-gay cohorts have a positive message, they must be delivering it in code because all I'm hearing is the usual hate, hate, hate.  If ultraconservatives had a sense of humor or knew the meaning of the word "irony," I might suspect that Bachmann was jesting.  Alas, they don't and she isn't.

CNN's Roland Martin Tweets In Support Of Anti-Gay Violence

But he claims he was "joking" when he Tweeted that sports fans should beat the shit "ish" out of gay males ...

Trudy Ring reports for The Advocate:  CNN commentator Roland Martin made it a not-so-super Sunday with a tweet and a Facebook posting widely perceived to be homophobic, and the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation has called on the network to fire him.  GLAAD reports that after retailer H&M’s Super Bowl commercial featuring soccer player David Beckham, Martin tweeted to his nearly 95,000 Twitter followers, "If a dude at your Super Bowl party is hyped about David Beckham’s H&M underwear ad, smack the ish out of him! #superbowl."

Equality activists at the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation quickly responded to Martin's call for violence toward "dudes" who appreciate Beckham's pecs and abs by tweeting: "Advocates of gay bashing have no place at @CNN."  The organization is now asking for Martin's resignation.  (Sign the petition at Change.org.)

Heterosexists watching the game might snort and ask what's the big deal.  It's not complicated:  Roland Martin has every right to act icky and holier-than-thou around queer folk - but crude statements that appear to promote violence can incite hate crimes and lead to anti-gay bullying in schools. 

In any event, this isn't Martin's first stroll down Homophobia Lane.  From GLAAD:  

Last year, Tracy Morgan said during a stand-up routine that if his son were gay he would 'stab him.' Morgan later apologized and worked with GLAAD to send positive messages to parents and LGBT youth.  Morgan understood how his words could influence his fans and put youth in danger, while Martin defended Tracy Morgan's original remarks...  At a time when the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs found that violence against LGBT people was up 23%, we need people in the public eye to speak out against the dangers of anti-LGBT violence, not openly encourage it.  Martin also has used his platform to misrepresent religious views about LGBT people. Far from the church being uniformly anti-gay, as Martin has claimed, LGBT people are welcomed just as they are into the full life of the church, in congregations and entire denominations across the United States. Lutheran, Presbyterian, and Episcopal denominations welcome LGBT folks, as well as many congregations from a variety of denominations.

Perhaps Martin would feel more appreciated spreading his anti-LGBT views for Rupert Murdoch's GOP-pandering media consortium.  (That would be Fox News, home of far right pundits, climate change deniers, religious fanatics, conspiracy theorists, anti-choice zealots, Obama haters, and of course run-of-the-mill homobigots.)

Victoria Jackson Touts Her Anti-Islam Hysteria (video)

During this unintentionally amusing episode of PolitiChicks TV - but honestly, aren't they all? - SNL alum and Tea Party ham Victoria Jackson dons her librarian glasses in order to give gravitas to her shrill spiel.  You'll notice that the other women on stage seldom speak.  Like Jackson's eyeglasses, they are merely props, dead-eyed Stepford wingnuts whose sole function is to give Victoria's persecution complex and public nervous breakdown an audience.  Prattles the porcine pundit:

"Islamic law has infiltrated your community, your country, and your life!"

"Islam is our enemy.  Islam is not a religion of peace. That's a lie.  It's called 'tekea' - you're allowed to lie for Allah."  (Aren't we lucky that Christians never lie?)

"The Muslim Brotherhood is in all of our highest positions, including the President."

"The socialists, the progressives like Hillary (Clinton) want to destroy America."

"If we're under Islamic law, then my husband can cut my head off and stone me to death."

You may recall Jackson's online tirade against the popular television program Glee, where she referred to Kurt and Blaine's first brief kiss as "sickening."  This woman isn't just a trainwreck, she's a national disaster.

Jon Stewart on Newt Gingrich

Politico reports that Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich are in a dead heat, according to an ABC News/Washington Post poll of primary voters - with Ron Paul hanging onto third place like a dog tick.

Newt Gingrich just won a straw poll among the dreaded Tea Party Patriots.

Jason Clayworth writes for the Des Moines Register:  Newt Gingrich here today criticized the negative attacks that have partially deflated the popularity of his campaign.  He said he will embark on a 44-city bus tour of Iowa starting Dec. 27.  And he will begin doing telephoners with Iowans several times a week starting Thursday to respond to the attacks his opponents spring on him in negative advertisements.  Gingrich has vowed to run a relentlessly positive campaign, free of attack ads, but he wants an opportunity to respond directly to attacks, he said.  Gingrich today declined to comment on a new complaint that his campaign illegally paid him $42,000...  Gingrich for weeks has battled criticism that his business, the Gingrich Group, was paid $1.6 million for historical work and consulting fees for Freddie Mac.

This clip from Comedy Central (via Hulu) says it all ...