The Progressive Puppy

Conservative Christian Compassion - The Tough Luck Club (video)

Squeezing Conservatives Through the Eye of a Needle

Conservative Christians not only pick and choose which Bible passages to follow, there's often a litmus test for their good deeds.  Ask the next homeless man you see what he has to endure to quality for "Christian" charity.  Really.  Ask him.

Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council has a new plan to end poverty:  Make sure children are only raised in homes with a mother and a father.  Households with single mothers cause poverty, Perkins says, and of course gays and lesbians are bringing the nation to ruin.  When he's pressed about evangelicals obsessing over same-sex marriage at the expense of impoverished Americans, Perkins stammers and becomes practically incoherent.  He finally declares that programs to help the poor should be the responsibility of local communities (read: churches that dispense largesse conditionally) ... 

"We don't think government is (the) solution for dealing with poverty.  We believe that the American people who are generous in their giving, local communities who can address not just the material povery but the spiritual poverty as well...  My family goes to the local homeless shelter here in Baton Rouge because we meet not only the physical needs but we share with them the spiritual needs that they have."  (The hungry and vulnerable must listen to preachifying before they're given their crust of bread.)  "That's what churches do.  That's what the religious community does when they're empowered to do so."  (via MSNBC's Martin Bashir)

In an opinion piece on the Oklahoma Daily,  Trent Carson talks about filthy rich Republican politicians:  I’m often told that these men, and almost all people like them, give to charity and contribute to foundations that benefit the poor every single year; that programs like welfare should be handled by charities, not the government. The church should take care of this, they say, rather than the government forcing us to be charitable by taxing us and spending our money on programs for the poor.  I believe this was actually Ron Paul’s answer to a debate question. It seems obvious to me that we have charities, churches and a welfare system, and many people still can’t afford to meet a basic standard of living in this country. Removing the welfare system and placing the burden solely on charities and churches seems like a pretty obviously bad idea. The donations from the rich wouldn’t come close to meeting the basic needs of the poor, which was of great concern to Jesus, and cutting programs like welfare would leave many of the poorest people in America to die and many of our greatest cities surrounded by slums. 

Here's a quote from St. Francis of Assisi: "Where there is charity and wisdom, there is neither fear nor ignorance." 

Well, that certainly leaves out the Vatican and fundamentalist pastors.  (Painting, above right, by Dan Gheno)

Related Post:  Tea Party Charity
Related Post:  Three Churches Withdraw Charity Over Gay Inclusiveness
Related Post:  Catholic Church Threatens:  Overturn Gay Rights or No Charity for Kids

Kids cutting out their demons, snake handlers, and more! (videos)

1)  A Christian teacher takes her kids on a field trip and orders them to cut their skin to release demons.
2)  At the "Signs and Wonders" Bible camp, kids learn how to perform miracles. Throw away those crutches!

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3)  Bill Maher discusses the recent death of a snake handler.
4)  Behold!  There's a new generation of snake-handling evangelicals.

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AFA's Bryan Fischer Yearns for the Gay Bashing of Yesteryear

Religious fanatics at the American Family Association continue to issue outrageous statements maligning LGBT Americans.  They raise cash for Republican politicians, they encourage anti-gay hate crimes, they initiate laws restricting women's reproductive choices and protecting school bullies, they reject teaching science in public schools, they boycott businesses that support equality, and they produce videos boasting about their prejudice.  Head fanatic Bryan Fischer yearns for the "good old days" when citizens denounced gays and lesbians - and he equates sexual orientation with pedophilia, a shopworn talking point of fundies.  Proclaimeth the Fischer of Bigots:  "A generation ago, our entire society said the same thing about homosexual behavior that we still say about pedophilia."  (Hat Tip: Kyle Mantyla at RW Watch)

"If gays are granted rights, next we'll have to give rights to prostitutes and to people who sleep with St. Bernards and to nailbiters."  - Anita Bryant, anti-gay activist and born-again Christian of yesteryear

Daffy Christofascists Mike Huckabee and Bill Keller

Failed Republican presidential wannabe and former Southern Baptist preacher Mike Huckabee is warning fellow wingnuts that the Obama administration "is not just indifferent to people of faith, it's hostile" - and by "people of faith" he means those who adhere to his particular brand of intolerant Christianity.  Huckabee also worries that the Environmental Protection Agency might tell Baptists that by practicing full immersion they're "using too much water."  (When I was a lad, I got fully immersed and after it was over there was there was no difference in the water level... Oh wait!  Was Huck being funny?)

It gets stranger.  Brian Tashman reports for Right Wing Watch:  Evangelist Bill Keller is telling people to write in Jesus on the ballot in November, arguing that Christians can’t support President Obama, whom he claims is a "true tool of Satan," or Mitt Romney because he is a Mormon. As of today, Keller claims over 126,000 people have committed to "write in the name of Jesus for President." 

Of course if Jesus were elected President, it wouldn't be the hateful Jesus fundies worship - so either way they're screwed.

Giants' Bones and Mixed Martial Arts for Jesus (videos)

Below is the official teaser for "The Sons of God."  Demons, giant human fossils, and intelligent beings from outer space - all found in the Bible?  This is science at its most, er, magical.  *Snort*  Pastor Jim Staley declares: "Who are the Sons of God?  Archaeology has discovered a 47-inch femur bone in the Euphrates River Valley."  (What "archaeology" can Pastor Staley be referring to?  The Scripture twister later states:)  "The plan of Satan is to genetically modify the DNA of Man so that the line of the Messiah would be polluted."  (Pollution of the race?  Careful, preacher.)  Feminist blogger C.G. Powell wittily observes:  Let us step back for a moment and see how this all might have played out.  A son of God walks into a bar, the cave sluts are all drinking whatever fermented in their goat stomach bags since yesterday, when one of them pipes in, "Hey, nice wings you got there."  And nine months later, she’s trying to push out a giant baby.

Next is a trailer for the documentary "Fight Church," an odd convergence of evangelical Christianity and mixed martial arts.  Favorite lines:  "My hope is that through the fight I can create a relationship with the person I'm fighting and extend Christ to him."  "Can you love your neighbor as yourself and at the same time then knee him in the face as hard as you can?"  A little boy being indoctrinated by the church chirps:  "I'm gonna go in there and rip this kid's head off."  ("Jesus help me to yank my classmate's intestines out through his ass and stomp them into the dust. Christ is merciful.")  "Jesus was a fighter.  That's the type of Jesus that I would want to serve."  (You ever notice how fundie Christians turn Jesus into the sort of person they already are?  As Church Lady would say:  "Well, isn't that speee-cial?")

"If there is a God, atheism must seem to Him as less of an insult than religion."  - Edmond De Goncourt

"Almost any religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so."  - Robert Heinlein

"Imagine the people who believe such things and who are not ashamed to ignore, totally, all the patient findings of thinking minds through all the centuries since the Bible was written. And it is these ignorant people, the most uneducated, the most unimaginative, the most unthinking among us, who would make themselves the guides and leaders of us all; who would invade our schools and libraries and homes."  - Isaac Asimov

"Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful."  - Seneca

Society Embracing Equality - But Haters Gotta Hate

On the Chicago Sun-Times, Rummana Hussain reports that Illinois State Attorney Anita Alvarez believes barring committed same-sex couples from civil marriage is discriminatory and unconstitutional.  Writes Hussain: 

Cook County Clerk David Orr discriminates against gay couples by refusing to grant them marriage licenses, two recent lawsuits contend.  But instead of defending himself, Orr - and his attorney Anita Alvarez - on Thursday said the gay couples that took him to court are right.  “As the defendant I totally agree with the plaintiffs,” said Orr. “We are clearly admitting that people are being discriminated against.”  As Cook County State’s Attorney, Alvarez represents Orr in court. She admitted in legal filings Thursday that Orr, by enforcing a state law prohibiting gay marriage, is violating the equal-protection clause in the state constitution...  The twin lawsuits, filed by the ACLU and Lambda Legal on behalf of gay couples late last month, argue that the state constitution, more than the constitution of any other state, guarantees a right for people of the same gender to get married, despite laws the Illinois Legislature passed in 1996 prohibiting same-sex marriage. State law does, however, allow for civil unions.  Alvarez said that if the courts agree, the ban would be thrown out - and gay marriage would be legal without additional legislation.

Our battle for marriage rights is hardly finished, especially with the enemies of equality eager to malign an entire subset of American citizens - enemies like the oleaginous Bryan Fischer with the hate group American Family Association.  Writing for the New Yorker, Jane Mayer offers an in-depth look at Bryan Fischer, who receives an amazing amount of exposure in the mainstream media.  Curiously, when he appears on national television promoting his ugly "values" agenda, the activist often comes across as reasonable, practically benign.  It's unfortunate that reporters and interviewers never ask Fischer about his more inflammatory position statements.   (The evangelical fanatic insists Hitler surrounded himself with gay storm troopers because "he could not get straight soldiers to be savage and brutal and vicious enough to carry out his orders."  He also calls adoption by committed same-sex partners "sexual abuse" and commonly compares gays to pedophiles and cannibals.  He is a truly twisted individual.)  From Mayer's exhaustive exposé: 

When I visited his office, I asked him if he could name anyone who had more conservative social beliefs. “Well, Thomas Jefferson,” he said. “He wanted to castrate homosexuals... ”  (This is actually true.  In 1770, when pastors used the Bible to justify the buying and selling of human beings and slavery was an integral part of the economy, Jefferson proposed a law that would mandate castration for gay men and face mutilation for lesbians.  In his day, Jefferson was considered a liberal.)  Fischer does, however, want to change homosexuals. "We’re not animals in heat that have a biological compulsion to yield to every sexual impulse." Fischer said...  Patrick Mahoney, the director of the conservative Christian Defense Coalition, in Washington, D.C., told me, “Bryan is definitely ascending. His influence is growing because he says publicly, in an unfiltered way, what many evangelical leaders think privately.  (In point of fact, there are countless fundamentalist Christian leaders spitting venom from the pulpit.  More and more right-wing pastors are calling for the extermination of gays.)

Fischer expresses delight in (and takes credit for) the departure of Romney's openly-gay foreign policy spokesman Richard Grenell.  The fear-mongerer had previously fretted:  "What if he’s travelling for Mitt Romney on government business?  He’s overseas somewhere and he’s got top-secret information in his hotel room, and he just can’t help himself?  He’s gotta have an anonymous tryst with some homosexual?"  (In a sane world, this sort of craziness would totally discredit Fischer, but Fox News and CNN still give him a platform for his shameless propaganda.) 

Like a possum drawn to a steaming pile of shit, Fischer returns to his favorite talking point - that being gay is “always, always, always a matter of choice.”  He drags that dead horse around for awhile:  He told his listeners that a scientific study had shown the concordance of homosexuality between identical twins to be only six per cent. “If one of them is gay and it’s genetically caused, the other one ought to be gay one hundred per cent of the time!” he said.  Fischer cites such evidence with ease; he has impressive recall for everything from Bible quotations to academic articles.  (If I had a quarter for each time a fundie Christian gasbag misrepresented a scientific study or relied on flawed research by non-academics with an anti-gay agenda, I would be as wealthy as Mitt Romney.)

While Republicans continue to curry favor with the GOP's intolerant base, fair-minded lawmakers in the Democratic Party are making a difference in people's lives.  On The Stranger, Washington Senator Patty Murray discusses civil rights for gay and lesbian Americans:  As Chairman of the Senate Veterans’ Affairs Committee, I am particularly proud of the progress we’ve made on behalf of the LGBT men and women in our Armed Forces and our nation’s veterans with the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” But while repeal is an important victory in the fight for equality, there are still many challenges ahead as we work to ensure each of our veterans receives the same quality care and services once they leave the military...  I have been so proud to work with the LGBT community on issues affecting veterans and on many other issues important to the cause of equality. But while we have seen some important victories these past few years, we know Pride Month isn’t just a time to celebrate these accomplishments. It is also a time to recommit and recharge for the fight that’s ahead.  When Governor Gregoire signed the same-sex marriage bill into law this February, it was a day of joy for all of the loving, committed gay and lesbian couples of Washington—and for all who love, respect and support them. This law takes us one important step closer towards true equality for gay and lesbian families across Washington state. Unfortunately, there are those who are now trying to turn back the clock. This is wrong and we’re going to fight to prevent this from happening.

Blowhards like Bryan Fischer may find sympathy with ultraconservative voters in today's political climate, but you can rest assured that future generations will view him and his ilk as depraved, loathsome, and desperate villains in the culture war. 

Change is in the wind, and the sanctimonious bigots are suffocating from their own lack of compassion.