"Christian" Rotten Banana Awards Promote Anti-Gay Hatred

Chelsea Schilling, who like a weeping pustule oozes ultraconservative propaganda at World Net Daily, reports that Ted Baehr, self-proclaimed media critic and defender of "traditional values," has announced his "Rotten Banana Awards" for films that most offend narrow-minded bigots like himself and Ms. Schilling.

Dictionary.com bookmarked on her every online apparatus, this anemic Ann Coulter wannabe declares: 

Sex, homosexual affairs, heavy drinking, gruesome violence and anti-human and anti-God themes – it’s all featured in the film receiving the Vile, Vulgar & Anti-Christian Award and dubbed Worst Ultimate Christian Bashing Movie of the Year.  Dr. Ted Baehr, media critic and founder and publisher of Movieguide, named Kevin Smith’s “Red State” the worst movie of 2011. The film heads his list of the 20 Most Unbearable Movies of 2011, each receiving the Annual Rotten Banana Awards.  (To accompany her article, Schilling posts a vivid photo of a rotting banana so readers will know just how disgusting "real Christians" think these movies are.  Granted, the aforementioned "Red State" may not be the most subtle film you'll see this decade - but for those with a dark sense of humor and firsthand knowledge of evangelical extremists, it is entertaining.)  Other films earning the disgraceful designation include: “Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star,” which won the Slimy Pornification Award for its lewdness; “A Good Old Fashioned Orgy,” which received the Abhorrent Sexcapade Award; “The Skin I Live In,” which earned the Lurid Transgender Award; and “Happy Feet Two,” which was given the Environmentalist Hysteria Award.  (Fundie fanatics reject the idea of climate change resulting from our nation's dependence on coal and fossil fuels.  They figure their Deity would never allow that to happen.)

Things you can count on while perusing Teddy Baehr's "Rotten Banana Awards" list:  Any film that doesn't present LGBT Americans as skulking predators, sex addicts, suffering AIDS patients, child molesters, or self-loathing druggies will not find favor with Baehr and his pious posse.  (And if Rick Santorum wins the presidency, this magnate of morality could be appointed director of the FCC.  That prospect alone should send progressives running to the polls in November.) 

Baehr hated the Oscar-winning film "Beginners" because of "loud and proud homosexual activism."  (Plot: After devoting over fifty years of his life to an opposite-sex spouse, now deceased, Christopher Plummer comes out of the closet to his adult son. Scandalous!)  Teddy absolutely loathed the independent film "Pariah" due to its supposed "anti-Christian liberal perversion."  (This gem of a movie takes a sympathetic look at a black lesbian teenager coping with her judgmental Bible-thumping mother.)  He hated the sci-fi comedy  "Paul" for its "atheistic worldview" (the title character is a sentient being from another planet), and the action flick "Rampart" received his "Lying About The Police" award because the story deals with dirty cops which of course don't exist in Tea Party Universe.

You probably wouldn't be surprised to learn that Christian values hypocrites hold their own version of the Academy Awards, attended by such D-List luminaries as Kirk Cameron, Pat Boone, Dean Cain, and Kevin Sorbo (shown above with his life-like wife Samantha.)  The 2012 Faith and Values Awards selected the movie "Courageous" (aka Police Who Pray) for the group's highest honor.  Although the majority of America's law enforcement officers are dedicated and compassionate, those pepper-spraying, homophobic, corrupt, sadistic, Taser-happy cops who find spiritual comfort in fundamentalism can rest assured that thanks to the FAVA, their reputation for decency is also being upheld.

(Pictured Top:  Chelsea Schilling, Ted Baehr, the Sorbos)