The Progressive Puppy

Pastor Richard Roberts Hawks $1000 "Miracle Cloth" on TV

Like most televangelists, Richard Roberts delights in bilking his followers of thier hard-earned money:  "I challenging you tonight to plant a thousand dollar seed.  Now you say: 'I don't have the cash?'  Well, put it on your credit card!"  Sheeple who send Roberts a thousand bucks don't walk away empty-handed.  They get a piece of cloth that he's prayed over.  "This prayer cloth is dangerous to the devil!  Your faith can do a whole lot when you plant your seed.  Let me say again, I'm not trying to get something from you, I'm trying to get something - God's power, God's miracles - to you."  Roberts is later joined by John W. Smith and Claud Bowers, who declares that "God gets excited" when all that cash starts rolling in.

In the following video, Youtube's MrBigFun cleverly inserts some reaction shots from Star Trek: The Next Generation with the ministers' hawking.  Data seems particularly disturbed by these Christian charlatans.  (Hat Tip: Joe.My.God)

Denying Equality Anonymously (Homophobes Hiding in Plain Sight)

Anti-gay religious groups that strive not only to make same-sex marriage illegal but to outlaw all civil unions and domestic partner benefits generally prefer to shit on their gay and lesbian neighbors in secret.  It's one reason why the NOM-bies insisted on banning television cameras from the courtroom during California's Prop 8 Trial.  It's also why they don't want to release the names of voters who sign their petitions, whether the topic is same gender nuptials or allowing gays to adopt unwanted and special-needs children.  Equality foes routinely claim that if the names on those documents - many obtained via fraudulent means - are made public, hordes of wild-eyed queers will descend upon them to exact vengeance.  Please.

Last week federal judges ordered the release of signatures gathered by homophobes in both California and Washington state - but the officials in Washington have apparently experienced a change of heart ...

From the Bellingham Herald:  Washington state elections officials have halted the release of names of voters that signed the Referendum 71 petitions on domestic partnership rights in 2009. The move came after lawyers for Protect Marriage Washington filed an emergency motion Thursday in the 9th Circuit federal court to appeal a judge’s order on Monday that released the signatures...  (O)pponents of same-sex marriage and spousal rights claim the threat of harassment should qualify them for an exception to the state Public Records Act, under which the petition names are being disclosed. And they filed a motion seeking to appeal and block further releases.

Alvin McEwen collars the hound:  In the world of NOM, someone protesting your business or stealing your yard sign is the equivalent of getting shot to death in your front yard (Medgar Evers) or being beaten half bloody (Fannie Lou Hamer).  The irony of NOM’s defense is stark when one takes into account how in New York, Maryland, and North Carolina, the organization used black pastors to claim the gay community is trying to “piggyback” on the struggles of African-Americans during the Civil Rights Movement.  It definitely proves that in this fight over marriage equality, there is exploitation of the Civil Rights Movement and the African-American community in general.  But it’s not coming from the gay community.

Since the homophobes are determined to conceal their identities in order to inflict hardship upon an already marginalized group of citizens, perhaps petition signers should wear masks and wigs - or even pointy hoods.

Without Compassion: Recalling a Jerry Falwell Moment

Reverend Jerry Falwell, the Late Great Hate

From childhood we're taught not to speak ill of the dead.  I believe it's worse to speak ill of the dying.

I recall once when Jerry Falwell, founder of the so-called Moral Majority, appeared on The Phil Donahue Show.  He spent his allotted sixty minutes (sans commercials) railing against homosexuality, a subject that remained dear to his heart until clogged arteries shut down that organ. 

This was in the early eighties and the AIDS epidemic was in its genesis.  Falwell's loathsome remarks are burned into my memory.  The Southern Baptist minister, blithely ignoring the program's host and even forgetting which camera framed those fluttering jowls, was pontificating about how "unnatural" gays and lesbians were and how "the Creator doesn't make mistakes."  Needless to say, scientists hadn't yet begun documenting the plethora of wildlife species which engage in same-sex activity, not to mention lifelong monogamous same gender bonding.

At one point during the interview - which was really more like a sermon since Falwell used the venue to castigate "sissy boys" and "manly women" - the evangelical leader, after assuming a jocular tone and floating a few lame quips, declared to the assemblage:  "Animals don't engage in homosexual conduct!  Chimpanzees don't, birds don't, fish don't, dogs don't!"

When Falwell said "dogs don't" the entire audience burst out laughing.  They laughed at him, not with him. 

It was a silly thing to say.  Most dog lovers have witnessed male canines mounting other males (as well as the occasional human leg).  Of course dogs that haven't been neutered - and about half of those who have - will mount a variety of objects, and everybody knows this isn't an indicator of the canine's sexual predilections.  (Our black lab Little Brother used to display a certain, er, tendresse for a grinning plush monkey.) 

It's important to note, however, that even though the people in the studio realized that a dog's sex drive is eclectic, Falwell had made a grave error.  He underestimated the intelligence of his audience. 

Falwell concluded his spiel by denouncing gays and lesbians as "abominations" and warning audience members that AIDs was "God's punishment for homosexual activity," a position still embraced by many ultraconservative pastors and pols.  Phil Donahue, clearly fed up with this tripe, pounced upon his guest's cruel judgment and exposed the preacher's "facts" as base fearmongering.  (Remember when media titans stood up to self-righteous bullies?)

Protected by the pulpit, a minister can usually count on... if not blind agreement, then respect and silent acquiescence from his own congregation, no matter what nonsense he pulls out of his ass.  Falwell was accustomed to receiving this respect.  He was not accustomed to having his declarations questioned.  He was not accustomed to being the object of ridicule.  When the crowd laughed - and I'm talking belly-laughs - Falwell's chubby face, already perspiring under hot studio lights, became elastic. In a matter of moments his expression changed from smug and overconfident to bewildered and hurt.  I almost felt sorry for the man.  Almost.

In the 21st century, when fundies talk about sexual orientation they alternate between their "it's abnormal" talking point and their more contemporary spin:  "Yes, animals might engage is homosexuality - but they also eat their young!  Human beings are not animals."   Gay and lesbian relationships are condemned from the pulpit and romantic love between members of the same gender is dismissed as "unnatural lust."  Some right-wing pastors compare us to child molesters, alcoholics, even terrorists.  Others insist that we're damaged and must be "fixed."  We are told that we "choose sin" and can pray away the gay.  We are also told that perhaps change is impossible, and therefore we must remain chaste. 

I wish they'd get their stories straight.  Religious conservatives have been misrepresenting gays and lesbians for so long that they've finally managed to confuse themselves.

Why I Remember

It has been nearly three decades since that episode of The Phil Donahue Show.  There's a reason why I'll never forget it.  In the pre-Internet era, sexual orientation was seldom mentioned on television or in print media, and for the topic to be addressed at all was noteworthy.  Much more relevant, however, is this:  Less than a month before Falwell's homophobic tirade was broadcast, my partner's younger brother Steve confided to us that he had come down with "the gay cancer," as AIDs was sometimes called back then. 

Steve and I watched that program together.  I was unprepared for what Falwell would say and shocked that a Christian pastor would blame Art's brother and countless other young men for a disease.  Steve got up and left the room, in tears, before the episode was over.

Our sweet Stevie - who wouldn't harm a gnat and possessed a warm and generous nature - was, according to America's religious zealots, responsible for his own suffering and imminent death while this... this grotesque clown preened on TV, clutching his Bible and luxuriating in the misery of others.  It was obscene.

Jerry Falwell died in 2007.  Steve died within a year of the Donahue Show episode I just described.  Art's brother moved into our house during the last six months of his life, so we could care for him.  He suffered horribly - but all we could really do was keep him clean and fed.  (There were no treatment options in those days.)

A History of Hate

Below is the transcript from an exchange between Falwell and Pat Robertson in which these "holy" men connect gays and secularists to the 9/11 terrorist attacks.  The segment aired on the CBN's 700 Club, less than a week after the World Trade Center collapsed:

JERRY FALWELL:  I agree totally with you that the Lord has protected us so wonderfully these 225 years. And since 1812, this is the first time that we've been attacked on our soil and by far the worst results. And I fear, as Donald Rumsfeld, the Secretary of Defense, said yesterday, that this is only the beginning. And with biological warfare available to these monsters -- the Husseins, the Bin Ladens, the Arafats -- what we saw on Tuesday, as terrible as it is, could be miniscule if, in fact -- if, in fact -- God continues to lift the curtain and allow the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve.
PAT ROBERTSON: Jerry, that's my feeling. I think we've just seen the antechamber to terror. We haven't even begun to see what they can do to the major population.
JERRY FALWELL:  The ACLU's got to take a lot of blame for this.
PAT ROBERTSON:  Well yes.
JERRY FALWELL:  And, I know that I'll hear from them for this. But, throwing God out successfully with the help of the federal court system, throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools. The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say "you helped this happen."
PAT ROBERTSON:  Well, I totally concur, and the problem is we have adopted that agenda at the highest levels of our government. And so we're responsible as a free society for what the top people do. And, the top people, of course, is the court system.
JERRY FALWELL:  Pat, did you notice yesterday the ACLU and all the Christ-haters, People For the American Way, NOW, etc. were totally disregarded by the Democrats and the Republicans in both houses of Congress as they went out on the steps and called out on to God in prayer and sang "God Bless America" and said "let the ACLU be hanged". In other words, when the nation is on its knees, the only normal and natural and spiritual thing to do is what we ought to be doing all the time - calling upon God.
PAT ROBERTSON:  Amen!

Younger generations of progressive Christians may be able to look past the venom spewed by these and other religious bigots - but I cannot.  I will always remember a brave young man who suffered and died in our home while people who were not fit to wash his feet - and I use that phrase in its Biblical sense - condemned him to hell and interminable suffering.

In Falwell's later years, perhaps suspecting that his legacy would be forever tainted by homophobia - as, deservedly, it is - the preacher made tepid overtures to the LGBT community and spoke to a few gay rights groups.  The meetings were insubstantial, despite being referred to as "productive" by his own ministry.  Falwell lived in hate and died in hate.

(Pictured left to right:  The odious Jerry Falwell, a vengeful God, Kaposi's Sarcoma, and Phil Donahue who is a truly compassionate man.) 

AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals. To oppose it would be like an Israelite jumping in the Red Sea to save one of Pharaoh's charioteers ... AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.  - Jerry Falwell

The empty life of this ugly little charlatan proves only one thing: that you can get away with the most extraordinary offenses to morality and to truth in this country if you will just get yourself called 'reverend'.  - Christopher Hitchens

Dan Savage tells Herman Cain how to prove being gay is a choice.

Republican presidential hopeful Herman Cain (the "authentic" black candidate, according to GOP strategists) keeps saying how sexual orientation is a choice and that he has "chosen" to be heterosexual. 

Progressive author and activist Dan Savage sent him the following letter:

Dear Herman,
If being gay is a choice, show us the proof. Choose it. Choose to be gay yourself. Show America how that's done, Herman, show us how a man can choose to be gay. Suck my dick, Herman. Name the time and the place and I'll bring my dick and a camera crew and you can suck me off and win the argument.  Very sincerely yours,  Dan Savage

I admire Dan.  I really do.  Few equality advocates would agree to such a noble sacrifice.  Savage correctly observes that Cain is not merely insulting gay people when he moralizes on this topic, he's insulting straight people as well:  Herman Cain believes that heterosexuality is something a heterosexual can decide to walk away from, like a underwater house or a lousy meal. Straight people should get angry when they hear a straight person making this argument.

Mr. Cain, the balls are in your court.   

Gov. Rick Perry Just Can't Quit His Fringe Pastor Pal(s)

As wiser heads than mine have observed, it's unlikely Rick Perry will succeed in his feverish pursuit of the GOP presidential nomination.  The Texas governor's debate performances have been lackluster, his shallow bravado is remindful of George W. Bush, his response to criticism ranges from dismissive to belligerent, and he aligns himself with fringe elements.  Moderates won't forget his past threats of secession, Tea Party activists won't forget his flip-flops, and racial minorities have seen first hand how his redistricting efforts have further marginalized black and Latino voters. 

Enter wife Anita Perry, far right, dragging her imaginary cross center stage.  Recently, Perry's political strategists sent his spouse to whine and moan about "librul reporters" who were "brutalizing" her hubby.  (I doubt there's a pundit alive who thought this was a good idea.)  When she then found herself portrayed unflatteringly in the media, Anita switched gears and turned on the tears.  She started blaming Obama for her son's lack of employment.  (The 28-year-old quit his job as an investment banker so he could work on Daddy's campaign.) 

Everything else aside, Perry just can't seem to renounce his cozy association with Robert Jeffress, the evangelical leader who refers to Mormonism as "a cult" (one of the Baptist minister's many extreme positions).  Although the Lone Star State's Fundamentalist-in-chief has insisted he doesn't agree with Jeffress on that particular issue, he refuses to repudiate the preacher.  (Anybody waving a Bible and bashing queer folk is welcome in the Texas Republican Party.)  This isn't surprising since our governor's most excitable admirers are white supremacists, homophobic bigots, anti-choice zealots, young earth creationists, and climate change deniers.

Help Me Out Here, Pardner ...

Ever eager to assist a fellow born-again dominionist (and not averse to a little self-promotion... or a lot, for that matter), the pompous Jeffress has authored a banal opinion piece for the Washington Post.  The editorial is packed with pablum like this:  During this firestorm I’ve reignited over the role of religion in politics, some have quoted Martin Luther as saying he would rather be governed by a competent unbeliever than an incompetent Christian. Yet evangelicals should remember that the purpose of the primary process is to keep us from having to make such a choice. At this point we have the opportunity to select both a competent leader and a committed Christian.  I predict secularists are going to be continually frustrated over the next 13 months as religion continues to be a part of the national political debate. America is filled with religious people, and to religious people, religion matters.  (Jeffress dials back the fanaticism in order to make his views more palatable to independents, but it doesn't take a genius to realize that both he and Perry are hankering for theocracy.)

I expect Perry will hop back and forth on Jeffress like Lindsay Lohan between nightclubs and court appearances.  You're probably familiar with this scene from Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.  It perfectly illustrates The Guv's, er, style:

Expect to see more side-stepping and many more televised prayers from Perry throughout the upcoming campaign.  His "Hear me, Lord" translates into, "Watch me pray, voters."   Perry's Number One Plan:  Show the Religious Right how very worshipful he is.  Doesn't the Bible exhort Christians to draw attention to themselves when they pray?  No?

Robert Jeffress isn't the only nit Perry declines to pick.  He's also cleaving to New Hampshire State Rep. Al Baldasaro, who thinks booing a gay American soldier is "great."  The conservative lawmaker has endorsed Perry for President.

Note To Anita Perry:  You want folks to view your husband in a better light?  Tell him to stop pandering to hate groups. 

Labs at War (Tug of War) - Passing the Torch

Some animal lovers say that dogs should be discouraged from playing tug of war, that it fosters aggression. I disagree.

Maggie used to snarl and snap while playing tug of war with Little Brother - after all, she thought every toy was hers - but he was desperate to frolic and never took her fits of pique personally.  These days Little Brother plays tug of war with Chance and, perhaps remembering his past experiences, occasionally lets the new pup win!  (The only time Brother snarls at Chance is when the puppy gets too rambunctious around the cats.  Our old fella is fiercely protective of his kitties.)