Holy Mother Michele, Saint Santorum, and the Passion of the Perry

It's amusing to watch religious right leaders and ultraconservative pundits salivating over the most extreme candidates (and potential candidates) to ever slouch across our political landscape, King James Bibles poised to bash non-believers - and incorrect believers - over the head.  Truly Puppers, Philistines are massing at the gates.

On the blog Religion Right Now, Jordan Sekulow practically drools in anticipation of a Christian dominionist uprising against all us "evil liberals" and "homosexual activists" and "blood-drenched abortion doctors."  Really, one gets chills:  For those of us in the social conservative world, it is exciting to see Michele Bachmann enter the race as a force. By blending tea party principles and unquestionable social conservative credibility, Bachmann can appeal to the majority of Republican primary voters. Her embrace of constitutional conservatism is uniting.  Second, Texas Gov. Rick Perry is talking up his social conservative credentials in preparation for a possible entry into the Republican field. As the longest serving governor in U.S. history and the top executive of the second biggest state in the country, Perry is expected to shake up the nomination contest if he jumps in.  (Both candidates plan to eventually outlaw abortion in all situations, advocate for a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, and even make intimacy between consenting same-sex adults a crime.  After waging their Culture War, if they have any time left, they'll trash the environment and award more tax cuts to greedy corporations.)  ... (T)op candidates already in the race are solid on social conservative issues.

On the Post-Gazette, columnist Tony Norman doesn't think much of Little Ricky Santorum's chances:  Mr. Santorum's popularity among tea party types and social conservatives hovers at 3 percent on a good day, but usually settles at 2 percent. As a result, he's had to deal with the indignity of being left off of every political svengali's short list of Republican candidates who could give President Barack Obama a sleepless night or two...  It's been said that Mr. Santorum knows in his heart he can't win the Republican nomination -- short of the Rapture removing his rivals from the political scene. The theory is that he's really running for the VP slot under someone like Mitt Romney or Tim Pawlenty because he knows he would be more valuable as the campaign's attack dog than the ticket's headliner.

There's not much point in repeating the extreme positions of America's Taliban-esque Republican leaders.  But please, if you do nothing else this afternoon check out this expose on The Daily Beast:  Bachmann's Unrivaled Extremism.  Consider the following passage, written by M. Goldberg: 

In the statehouse, Bachmann made opposition to gay marriage her signature issue. Both she and her husband, by all accounts her most trusted political adviser, believe that homosexuality can be cured. Speaking to a Christian radio station about gay teenagers last year, Marcus, who treats gay people in his counseling practice, said, "Barbarians need to be educated. They need to be disciplined, and just because someone feels this or thinks this, doesn't mean that we're supposed to go down that road."  (Just how ironic is that?  A progress inhibiting, propaganda spitting, diversity quashing, arts and literature banning Bible thumper is calling LGBT Americans 'barbarians.')

In 2004, Bachmann gave a speech warning that gay marriage would lead to schoolchildren being indoctrinated into homosexuality. She wanted everyone to know, though, that she doesn't hate gay people...  "It's a very sad life. It's part of Satan, I think, to say that this is gay."  (So we are a part of "Satan" now?  Fundie Christians will soon be grabbing the torches and pitchforks.  It appears they have an obligation to annihilate us.)

As for Rick Perry, governor and pastor-in-chief of the Lone Star State, he's fond of telling gay and lesbian Texans that if we don't like living under his bigoted theocratic rule, we should all move to another state.  But I have a better idea.  Rick Perry should take his vast personal fortune and retire to Jamaica or Puerto Rico, where brutalizing gays is the national pastime.  He will feel right at home there.