The Progressive Puppy

Camp Movie Moments Part I - "Take off that dress." (videos)

1.  "Take off that dress.  We'll burn it together and pray for forgiveness."
2.  "Listen you children this game is very amusing but I think it's gone too far."

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As I wrote in an earlier post, Jane Fonda's breasts were the first breasts I ever saw.

A Brief and Somewhat Banal Entertainment Roundup

Glee's Chris Colfer admits to being bullied, first in high school and recently over the Internet.  Devotees of the popular Fox program will be gratified to learn that the cast is currently on a multi-city North American tour called Glee Live!  The concert series is being recorded for an upcoming summer movie.

The producers of a Hindu soap opera may soon reveal that a major character is *gasp* homosexual.  This, they cunningly allege, will explain why the man has been "shunning his bride."

When teen pop star Miley Cyrus tweeted about her support for same-sex marriage, not all of her fans were pleased.  One responded snappishly:  "what happened to that Christian girl from Tn with decent moral values and a lot of heart?" to which Miley replied with a snap of her own:  "what an ignorant statemen. i dont have “alot of heart” cuz im not gonna be a closed-minded hypocrite? LOVE IS LOVE. GOD IS LOVE."  Miley is also no fan of homophobe Rick Santorum or his conservative sycophants at the anti-gay sweatshop Urban Outfitters.  For all those reasons I adore her.

You'll recall that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie once declared they would not get married until gay and lesbian citizens are permitted to tie the knot.  Well, apparently Brad has changed their minds about that.

The movie Hangover Part II has just topped the opening weekend of the previous R-rated record-holder, Passion of the Christ.  (For what that's worth.)

This sounds like fun:  Dame Judi Dench, Sir Ian McKellen, and Gillian Anderson are teaming up for a British period piece about zombies tentatively titled The Curse of the Buxom Strumpet.  I have died and gone to heaven.

Sir Elton John and David Furnish are on the short list for Celebrity Dad of the Year.

Phoenix Suns point guard Steve Nash says he wouldn't be upset if a fellow NBA athlete admitted to being gay.  Nash told the NY Times:  "If a player in the locker room came out, it would come and go quickly, too. I really don’t think it’s a big issue anymore. I think it would be surprisingly accepted, and a shorter shelf life than maybe we would imagine. I think the time has come when it should happen soon. I think it will be something that won’t take on this life of its own. It won’t be the O. J. trial."  (In the struggle for equality, high-profile straight allies are invaluable.)

Almost seven years after the fact, Oliver Stone is blaming Warner Bros. studio execs for the failure of his bloated 2004 biopic Alexander.  He says they made him cut too many sex scenes, which weakened the film.  (I started watching the "director's cut" on DVD and couldn't finish it.  What an ignoble tribute to a fascinating historical figure.  Whoever decided to stick that tacky blond wig on Colin Farrell's head should be banned from the film industry.)

Chaz Bono's girlfirend insists that she has never identified as a lesbian.

Wow.  Lindsay Lohan must really be serious about cleaning up her act.  Wearing an electronic monitoring device and lounging by her pool, the out and proud actress has found time to endorse a new brand of smokeless cigarettes.

Thus concludes my humble imitation of Perez Hilton.

My Dog Has More Humanity Than NOM's Maggie Gallagher

"Public schools, when they teach about marriage, are going to teach your children and grandchildren that your views about marriage are discarded relics of ancient bigotry."  "Black America knows better than anyone else the high price children pay for the sexual agendas of adults."  - two quotes from Maggie Gallagher

Truth Wins Out director Wayne Besen writes on Huffington Post:  In the name of saving marriage socially conservative groups helped elevate anti-gay Republicans, which enacted policies that led to great income disparity -- which depresses marriage rates. Nice going, fundies!  ... Focus on the Family, the National Organization for Marriage and the Family Research Council have obsessed about gay families at the expense of traditional marriage. If they had bothered to pull their noses out of our bedrooms and averted their eyes from our keyholes, they might have noticed the problem.  (Yeah, but then they wouldn't get to fantasize about our alleged depravity.)  James Dobson, Tony Perkins, Brian Brown, and Maggie Gallagher have no one to blame but themselves for the disintegration of marriage in America...

As you know, Minnesota conservatives have decided to send an anti-marriage equality bill to state voters, despite an impassioned plea by Democratic Governor Mark Dayton to eschew the contentious legislation:  "Although I do not have the power to prevent this divisive and destructive Constitutional Amendment from appearing on the Minnesota ballot in 2012," Dayton spoke with emotion, "the Legislature sent it to me in the form of a bill.  Thus, symbolic as it may be, I am exercising my legal responsibility to either sign it or veto it.  Without question, I am vetoing it; and I urge Minnesotans to reject this mean-spirited, divisive, un-Minnesotan and un-American amendment."

Now Maggie Gallagher is warning the venom-spitting wingnuts at World Net Daily to be prepared for an "ugly battle" in America's neverending culture war.  (If there is a person alive who luxuriates in ugly battles, it is the conscienceless Gallagher.  This "family values prayer warrior" and her blinkered minions from the National Organization For Marriage are currently dragging NOM's bloated propaganda machine toward the North Star State, preparing to catapult flaming wads of fear-based agitprop into the minds of the masses.  Deception is their sole weapon - and let's face it, deception worked pretty well for them in California and Maine.)  Sez Mag:  "There's going to be an incredible effort to paint good, decent and honorable Americans who believe marriage is the union of husband and wife, as if Minnesotans who believe that are hateful bigots."  (Americans are free to believe what they want to believe.  That will never change.  But religious zealots should not be allowed to impose their narrow views on the rest of us.  Anti-gay activists who do that ARE Hateful Bigots, Ms. Gallagher.  These descriptors also apply to individuals who once opposed interracial marriage.  It matters not that racists used passages from the Bible to enact anti-miscegenation laws - the fact that they supported this discrimination marked them as Hateful Bigots.  Dear Maggie, if the shoe fits over that size-11 foot in your mouth, just wear the fucking thing.)  "No matter how sincerely and thoughtfully and reasonably we talk about our concerns, we get treated as though we are the biggest haters."  (Sincerely? Thoughtfully? Reasonably?  Perhaps Maggie should look up the definitions of those words.  Her own allies have admitted to spreading lies to advance their agenda.  No smear is too outrageous for professional homophobes.  NOM routinely links gays to pedophiles, and accuses the LGBT community of indoctrinating heterosexual children into "deviant lifestyle choices."  The fearmongering breeds hate.)

A Tale of Two Maggies

Some might think that comparing a woman to a dog is the worst type of misogyny - and I'd agree that would generally be the case.  But contrasting how one particular human female and one particular female canine contribute to the world in matters of character, steadfastness, compassion, kindness - and yes, even charm - is not the least bit chauvinistic.  Just consider the similarities and differences between Maggie Gallagher, chairperson chairbigot for the anti-equality group National Organization For Marriage; and Maggie Moose, our beloved yellow lab mix.

First, the similarities: Both Maggie Gallagher and Margaret Moose possess winning smiles and what might charitably be described as Rubenesque physiques. They enjoy their food and don't particularly care who knows it. They're of a similar age, in human and dog years. Both are bitches. But where our sweet Moose spends her days bringing joy to her family and the animal lovers that encounter her in our neighborhood and at the dog park, Maggie Gallagher expends all of her time and energy striving to inflict pain and hardship on committed same-sex couples and their children.

Our Maggie's most fervent desire is to elicit a chuckle from you (which of course she hopes will lead to something more, shall we say, edible). The sole mission of NOM's Maggie is discrimination, impure and simple.  (Hate crimes and gay youth suicides are merely extra bonuses to warm the cockles of Gallagher's empty heart.)

Take the Maggie Gallagher/Maggie Moose Quiz!

Which Maggie would you prefer to accompany you for an afternoon on the beach?
Which Maggie would you trust to defend a loved one from an attacker?
After a hard day at the office, which Maggie would you like to see greeting you at the door with her tail wagging?
Which Maggie would you like to get a big sloppy kiss from?   ... and most important:
Which Maggie would be better equipped to teach a child the meaning of love?

I would also pit Gallagher's natural grace and humanity against that of a honey badger:

Too much?  Sorry, I get carried away sometimes.

Doctors "pretending" to perform abortions?

As you watch this deliciously satirical video from The Onion, you might start to wonder how many Republican lawmakers - and particularly right-wing pols in Oklahoma - would actually vote for a measure this inane:

If I didn't know better, I'd think it was a newsy segment from the fairly unbalanced Faux Network.

Breaking Real News - "Pro-Lifer" with Murder in Mind.  Reality Check: A man who drove to Madison, Wisconsin to kill an abortion doctor faces federal charges for intending to attack a Planned Parenthood office in Madison, Wisconsin and murder abortion providers. Ralph Lang, 63, was arrested Wednesday night when his gun went off in his motel room not far from the Planned Parenthood clinic that he planned to attack Thursday. According to a criminal complaint filed Thursday in U.S. District Court Lang said he had a gun "to lay out abortionists because they are killing babies."

GOProud Still Hates Progress and Equality

In response to HRC's official endorsement of Barack Obama for POTUS in the 2012 election, GOProud's Jimmy LaSalvia huffed and puffed and blew gay activism down. Well. He definitely blew. "Today, the Human Rights Campaign chose to endorse Barack Obama’s re-election even though the field running for President in 2012 isn’t even set yet. This pre-emptive endorsement ends HRC’s charade of bipartisanship. LGBT people who are interested in putting policy before partisanship now know that HRC is little more than a puppet of the Democratic National Committee and an organization that has one goal – to elect more Democrats."

What a prissified pile of pachyderm poop, especially coming from a self-loathing Uncle Tom whose handful of followers, having gate-crashed the Republican Party, now sway and cower like shrinking violets as GOP leaders bash and belittle LGBTQ Americans.  Granted, I'm no diehard fan of the Human Rights Campaign (the dedicated activists at Get Equal and SLDN and even GLAAD are more dynamic not to mention results-oriented) - but at least HRC doesn't endorse candidates who spread vicious lies about gay, lesbian, and transgender individuals in order to promote discrimination and screw non-traditional families.  GOProuders are so obsessed with fiscal concerns (hoarding their personal wealth) and being perceived as macho warhawks that they are actually working against social justice.  These so-called "gay conservatives" view right-wing pols that embrace homophobia as allies in their pissing war against progressivism.

Jimmy LaSalvia recently said that the current Republican presidential field "is shaping up to be an incredibly strong one."

Oh reeeally?  What exactly is LaSalvia's definition of the word "strong?" (Perhaps he meant to say "wrong.")  None of the leading GOP presidential contenders support marriage equality.  None of them supported repeal of the military's detestable "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.  None of them supported an LGBT-inclusive federal hate crimes bill. (In 2006, former governor Jon Huntsman did sign a watered-down bias crimes statute in Utah, and he once claimed to be okay "in principle" with civil unions - Thanks Massah! Good Massah! - which of course enrages the party's all-influential religious fundamentalists.  In any event, Huntsman has not at this point tossed his chapeau into the ring.)  That's leaves haters like Tim Pawlenty and serial adulterer Newt Gingrich, flip-flopper Mitt Romney (announcing his bid next week), Ron Paul who fondly dreams of disbanding the federal government.  Even divisive wingnuts like Rick Man-on-Dog Santorum and Texas Governor Rick Perry may be entering the cattle pens this summer.  Shh, listen.  You can almost hear the lowing.

A Word About Sisyphus and LaSalvia:  As you undoubtedly know, Sisyphus was the greedy son of a Thessalonian king, a sly and mostly disagreeable young man who used to ambush travelers and steal their money. He eventually ran afoul of the Greek gods and was condemned to roll a boulder up a steep hill for all eternity. (Each time he reached the summit, the stone would fall back down and he'd have to repeat the task.)  I've always thought of Sisyphus as a whining buffoon, a mildly amusing character in mythological lore.  I suspect that LaSalvia's breathless pronouncements elicit a similar reaction from many within the gay community.  "What am I doing wrong?" he pouts and whimpers.

The Final Act

My Life In Five Acts

Act One - Growing up in the East Texas Bible Belt
Act Two - Party Days:  Leaving Home and Moving to Houston
Act Three - Meeting my life partner Art, Attending College, Working in the Theatre
Act Four - Dodging Hurricanes: Our Decade on the Beach, the Joy of Labrador Retrievers
Act Five - Returning to East Texas with the Love of My Life, our Friend Greg, and my Beloved Furkids

On our first visit to the property Art said, "I feel like this place is hugging me."  It was an astute observation.

The bid was accepted, loan approved, contract signed, inspections done. We expect to move before the summer is over. The house sits on sixteen acres at the edge of the Davy Crockett National Forest. The property is surrounded by grazing pasture on two sides and dense woods on the other. The pond is stocked with fish. There's nothing really fancy here, just a modest country house with trees and a field for the dogs to run and play in.  Even so, this will be our forever home and I'm as happy as a possum sucking on a prune.  I can't wait for the furkids to see their new stomping grounds.

We're not anticipating a warm welcome from Southern Baptists and other evangelical denominations - but then my faith in the kindness of red state America has dwindled ever since the Republican Party placed committed same-sex couples in its crosshairs.  This is, after all, the buckle of the Texas Bible Belt.  Art, Greg and I plan to adopt a low profile - by design, not fear of intimidation - and we hope our rural neighbors will return the favor.  We certainly don't see ourselves living as hermits.  If there's a community theatre within 20 miles, I may broadcast my backstage bona fides and offer to direct a play.  (I wonder how the area's arts council would respond to a production of The Vagina Monologues?)  On a more serious note, we will of course be contacting local animal rescue shelters and apply to foster difficult and special needs dogs.  There will be weekend outings.  I intend to frequent flea markets and antique shops and really any place where progressives might gather. 

If there is a conflict with Bible thumpers I will write about it.  If we are treated with respect and discover new friends, I will write about that too.  I am open to all possibilities because, well, isn't this what life is about?  (More after the jump...)