Pat Robertson Turns 80. Virginia Honors His Homophobic Insanity.

VA Lawmaker One:  I'm bored. What do you feel like doing today?
VA Lawmaker Two:  I dunno. You wanna write another anti-gay bill?
VA Lawmaker Three:  I have a better idea. We can pay tribute to someone who hates homos.
VA Lawmaker Four:  Let's do it quick, then. My mistress wants me to take her shopping.

Christian televangelist Pat Robertson is celebrating his 80th birthday on Monday and Virginia lawmakers, continuing their long slide into the morass of far-right wingnuttery, have decided that honoring this decrepit homophobe requires Special Legislative Action.  Lacking any current resolutions designed to inflict hardship on LGBT Virginians - acts they must surely cherish above all others - conservatives in the Old Dominion State felt compelled to squander their time (and taxpayers' money) heaping accolades on the mentally unbalanced octogenarian, praising him as a "great American," a "visionary leader," a former GOP presidential hopeful (with an ego of Biblical proportions). 

Rob Boston delivers the goods, from Americans United:  The resolution is full of the "whereases" and flowery language that are common in this type of thing. It lauds Robertson’s creation of the Christian Broadcasting Network, Regent University, the American Center for Law and Justice and the Christian Coalition.  The resolution celebrates Robertson as "a compelling and compassionate spiritual leader" who is “devoted to his family, his viewers who are his extended family, his community and the Commonwealth.” It expresses the legislature’s "gratitude for his steadfast service to his fellow citizens and best wishes for a joyful birthday celebration." 

Below are just three of Pastor Pat's many "selfless" contributions to the white race human race, according to Old Dominion's exhaustive list of where-asses:

Whereas, in 1989 Dr. Robertson founded the Christian Coalition, a political organization credited with increasing the influence of conservative Christians in American public policy.
Whereas, Dr. Robertson founded the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN) in 1960, serving as the chairman and the public face of CBN, as well as the host of its religious magazine show, The 700 Club.
Whereas, Dr. Robertson is a compelling and compassionate spiritual leader, who is guided by Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Back to Americans United:  Unfortunately, there are a number of things the legislature left out in this resolution. Had they added them, the document might have been less cloying and more interesting. I wish they had consulted me, because I wrote a book about Robertson in 1996 titled The Most Dangerous Man in America?: Pat Robertson and the Rise of the Christian Coalition and have continued to monitor his career since then. I believe I could have spiced things up.

Ready for a chuckle?  Rob offers eleven delicious additions to Virginia's resolution.  Here are four items from that list:

Whereas, Robertson in 1990 said of homosexuality, "It is a sickness, and it needs to be treated” and added, "Many of those people involved with Adolf Hitler were Satanists; many of them were homosexuals. The two things seem to go together."  (So Hitler surrounded himself with gays before he threw them all into concentration camps?  I suppose that makes sense to fundies who believe that Adam and Eve frolicked with dinosaurs.)
Whereas, Robertson wrote in a 1992 fund-raising letter, "The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians."  (This is my absolute favorite Kwazy Kwote, ever.)
Whereas, in 1995 Robertson said, "Demons work behind the Hindu and other Oriental religions, as well as behind the teaching of mind control."  (You really should catch Robertson's zany performance on The 700 Club sometime.  From Abezethibou and Belial to Xaphan, Yeter'el and Zaebos.  He can rattle off devils from A to Z.)
Whereas, in October of 2009 Robertson’s CBN website warned Halloween trick-or-treaters that "most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches."  (Just imagine all those Nestlé employees, hands clasped, standing in a giant circle chanting to the Earth Goddess over each new shipment of Butterfingers.)

And this is the person Virginia lawmakers have taken time from their busy schedules to honor, this "man of God" who less than three months ago blithely called Haiti's devastating earthquake "a blessing in disguise," an evangelical leader who blames "homosexual activists" for Hurricane Katrina and 9/11. 

Y'know, if demons really did exist, I suspect they might honor him too.   (Illustration courtesy of Eoin Rogan.)

Comments

[Bee Girl]

I've seen the 700 club a few times, my grandmother used to leave it on that station and whenever I visited her that was one of the perks. lol Robertson DOES know his demons. I wonder if he cane name that many presidents.