With lyrics like: "We wanna keep our mind pure, We wanna keep away from sin... I'm a rough ride-uh, filled up with Christ love... We livin' Holy, it ain't no tang, So put yo hands in the air and let dat shoulder hang... Gimme dat Christian side hug, dat Christian side hug..." which somehow manage to segue into "Democrat shift in the Congress - Repo! Democrat shift in the Congress - Repo!" and police sirens and "Jesus never hugged" and a lead singer who by the end of the number is so out of breath I thought he'd been running a marathon instead of strutting around on stage for four minutes, this youth group of white privileged born-again gangsta rappers brings new meaning to the term 'sexual purity.' The video below is so unintentionally hilarious that it might be a brilliant satire from The Onion. Alas, these performers are deadly serious. (Which makes it even funnier.) Their message appears to be: Religious conservative have so little control over their bodies (meaning, sexual impulses) that traditional hugging just naturally leads to moist spots and runaway boners. The way around this is to always engage in "side hugs."
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Dan Abramson provides the delicious setup on Huffington Post: Christian youth groups finally have an alternative to normal, aka "front," hugs. As we all know, face to face embraces run the horrific risk of a clothed crotch graze. The Christian Side-Hug (or the CSH, as the kids call it) rids us of sin, as the only below the belt contact will be some good old-fashioned hip on hip action... Look out for the ominous sirens blasting on the track. Clearly, these are gangsters on the run from the law - probably from side-hugging up a storm! One emcee (wearing his bandanna 2pac-style no less) admits to taking part in the forbidden front-hug. But don't worry, God. He's married. (One of the wags at HuffPo notes in the comments section: "Church girls are easy for this very reason." Others observe, "And why is the girl on the left smiling so big? Could it be because that hand in her pocket is doing the devils work?" and "They get to glamorize 'ghetto life' while preaching the virtues of side hugs from the safety of their suburban megachurch." and "What happens when there is breast driftage?") Watch, and be amazed.
Max, you'll be receiving a bill for THAT four minutes of my life I'll never get back. lol These kids ought to find a hobby besides music. And those girls onstage, flapping their x-tra long sleeves. What was that?
Posted by: Carol | November 29, 2009 at 02:59 AM