Post-Rapture Pet Care Service Run By Atheists

From Clarifying Christianity:  Obviously, what God has prepared for us is wonderful beyond comprehension.  Therefore, love your pets as much as you can while they are here.  Those of us who go to heaven will later understand that everything worked out perfectly regarding our pets.

A group of business-savvy non-believers are offering to adopt the pets of Rapture-Ready Christians after they fly off into sky to meet their Maker.

"You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved.  But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind?  Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind." 

From NewsOn6:  Christians who believe they'll vanish from Earth in the rapture can now hire an atheist to care for their pets.  For $110.00, Eternal Earth-Bound Pets offers a ten-year contract guaranteeing that an atheist will adopt the pet that's left behind by its raptured owner. Additional pets can be covered for $15.  The company's owner, Bart Centre, said his pet rescuers definitely won't be raptured because they've all blasphemed the Holy Spirit in writing, committing what they believe Jesus called the unforgivable sin.  His Web site said the rescuers are animal lovers who "are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus."

From the Eternal Earth-Bound Pets FAQs page:

Q: Is this a Joke?
A: This is a serious offer to our Christian friends who believe in the Second Coming and honestly care about the future of their pets after the Rapture occurs.
Q: How do you ensure your representatives won't be Raptured.
A: Actually, we don't ensure it, they do.  Each of our representatives has stated to us in writing that they are atheists, do not believe in Jesus, and that they have blasphemed in accordance with Mark 3:29, negating any chance of salvation.
Q: How can we trust that you'll honor your service agreement, after all, you ARE atheists.
A: Being an atheist does not mean we lack morals or ethics. It just means we don't believe in God or gods. All of our representatives are normal folks who love and live for their family, are gainfully employed, and have friends of varying beliefs.  Some of us are married to believers.  Many of us volunteer our time at food banks, animal shelters, meals on wheels organizations, etc.  We fully endorse the "Rule of Reciprocity", also known as The Golden Rule. We just happen not to believe in God(s).  Belief in God does not ensure righteousness, nor does non-belief imply immorality. Jesus understood this. Please reference Luke 10, re "The Good Samaritan."
Q: How can your rescuers possibly pay for my pet's care for only $110.00?
A: The $110.00 initial fee for one pet is not for the cost of their care.  It is to compensate the rescuers for their travel, cover website expenses, and provide a profit margin.  The rescuers have agreed to adopt your pet as their own and care for them as they do their own pets, at their own expense.

Right-wing Christians who are expecting to be whisked away (while the rest of us poor souls suffer through tribulation) should immediately take advantage of this service.  I honestly can't think of a better way for them to show compassion for their beloved animals, who will otherwise be Left Behind to starve by a benevolent deity.  (Snort.)   

On a personal note:  I raised Little Brother, pictured above, in the Unitarian Universalist Church.  But then last year he converted to Buddhism, hoping in the next life to be reincarnated as a show dog.  Kids. They always break your heart.

H/T :  Pam's House Blend

Comments

[Trent]

That is friggin hilarious. Whoever came up with this idea is a genius.

[madfloridian]

What a brilliant idea. Let atheists take care of your pets when you are raptured up. I sure hope a lot of the rapture ready take advantage of that offer. :)

[Bee Girl]

My five cats are Wiccans. In the middle of the night they form a circle and pray to the Goddess. (That would be me.)

[Bart]

Hi all,

I’m Bart, creator of Eternal Earth-Bound Pets USA, and author of amazon’s top 10 best selling atheist book “The Atheist Camel Chronicles: Debate Themes and Arguments for the Non-Believer”

Thank you for your kind words about our post rapture pet rescue business. If you like what I've done with this site, you'll love my book.

Yes, we have paying clients who have contracted with us to care for their pets post Rapture. While it is fewer than 100 now, we expect that to increase as we expand our pet rescuer coverage into additonal Bible Belt states.

One of the chapters in my book was the genesis for this idea. And the 2012 Mayan calendar chatter was influential in formulating a way to make some income, while simultaneously reaching out to our end times believing friends.

Best regards,
Bart
aka Dromedary Hump

Bart@eternal-earthbound-pets.com
http://theatheistcamelchronicles.blogspot.com/

[aWorldQuiteMad]

This is hysterical. LOL

My dog says he's been reincarnated a few times (never as a show dog though) and he thinks this is all quite mad. ;)

[Mick for Dog Exercise Pen]

hello max,

i really don't know what's my take on this because i don't want to offend any religion or any believers of this. i think it's a great article though. it stirred up my mind and made me laugh. it just made my day. no offense meant :)