Protect the Sanctity of Sidewalks: Prop 8 for Concrete Values

Sometimes a simple dose of absurdity best illuminates the plain facts of an issue.  Such is the case with Princeton University's Proposition 8 to protect traditional sidewalk values.

Here's an excerpt from the press release announcing the success of the measure:

A group of students at Princeton University would like to eliminate the right of freshmen to walk on campus sidewalks. Stating that they would like to "preserve traditional sidewalk values" that define a sidewalk as a "pathway for sophomores, juniors, seniors, graduate students, faculty, staff, and other members of the university community," the group, which is acting in support of a measure termed "Princeton Proposition 8," is now entering its second successful week of demonstration.

The students emphasize that they are not "froshophobic" and that some of their best friends are freshmen, but they maintain that freshmen on the sidewalk degrade the sacred institution of sidewalks, and jeopardize the validity of upperclassmen's own perambulation. It also makes some of them uncomfortable. They are very excited that California's Proposition 8 has set a clear precedent for a majority to eliminate a minority group's civil rights, and they see it as a perfect opportunity to utilize this development for their own gain.

The Princeton Proposition 8 campaign aims to secure the definition of Princeton University sidewalks as a means of pedestrian transit for sophomores, juniors, seniors, graduate students, faculty, staff, and other members of the university community, but supports the elimination of the right of freshmen to walk on sidewalks.  Only walking on sidewalks by sophomores, juniors, and senior students is valid or recognized at Princeton.

Here's a video of the most recent student demonstration in support of Princeton's Prop 8.

Comments

[Outraged, then relieved.]

I was initially blown out of my chair by this movement - it was appalling to think that some of the finest minds in the nation could produce such an utter ball of crap. Outrageous, I tell you, outrageous!

But then, I realized, it was satire. Or at least I hope to God it was satire. In which case, haha, nice one, Princeton! Keep up the good work.